


I Think Too Much (I Love Like I'm Dying)

by killyourstarlings



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Drunk Dancing, F/F, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Winter Solstice, and asking zelda to run away with her so this is that!, enjoy :), idk got an image of drunk lilith in only a sweater rearranging ornaments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 12:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19463554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killyourstarlings/pseuds/killyourstarlings
Summary: " “Is this something romantics do?” Lilith asked, breath warm on Zelda’s lips where she just didn’t kiss her.  “Dancing in the dark with no music?”For a demon of little or no romantic experience, she was a fast learner. "Lilith and Zelda, drunk off eggnog, discuss running away together.





	I Think Too Much (I Love Like I'm Dying)

* * *

_But I think too much;_

_I love like I’m dying._

_And I come and go, like the moon,_

_Like the moon, my face shows when I’m lying._

\- “All Through the Night” by Anna Nalick.

* * *

“Run away with me.”

The thought slipped so seamlessly into the conversation that it almost seemed premeditated, a matter-of-fact little statement in the midst of Lilith’s long and winding train of thought. Zelda nearly missed it, caught at its coattails and grappled drunkenly after it — only managing to respond once Lilith had gone several streets down another topic, and even then, witlessly.

“What?”

Wild curls tossed over Lilith’s shoulder, played at the holes in her overlong sweater; her eyes twinkled with the tree lights where she peeked back at Zelda. She hung on her tiptoes while her fingers tugged blindly at an ornament until it snapped free from its branch.

She looked stunning for a pantsless, eggnog-drunk demonic presence.

“They’re all backward,” Lilith explained, as though this were an obvious thing she was doing — because at some point she’d slipped out of Zelda’s arms to go fiddle with the solstice tree, and Zelda, content to watch, had forgotten to ask or care why. “Have to fix them for tomorrow…”

Zelda furrowed her brow, sat up straighter. “No, I mean-”

“I think Sabrina or Ambrose keeps turning them just to play with me,” she continued, and turned back to her work. She stretched up taller, eyes set on the star. “They got that mischief from you, you know.”

“Lilith, about running away with you.” Zelda couldn’t quite get her attention as she stretched up, in vain, for the top of the tree. The woman wasn’t vertically gifted; she would hurt herself in a matter of moments, and Zelda sat upright in anticipation. “What did you mean?”

The flash of determination across Lilith’s face had Zelda gripping the arm of the couch, ready to up and catch her. A hop into the air, and Lilith nearly lost her footing-

“Lilith-”

“I meant what I said,” Lilith said, completely unaware of Zelda’s tense viewership — turned back to find Zelda’s eyes wide, and held her hand out as reassurance. Only once Zelda relaxed did Lilith tug her sweater back over her ass, and smirk. “Run away with me.”

Again, and it hit her ears funny, as if it were grammatically incorrect or another language entirely. Zelda’s eyebrows danced with the ceiling; she pulled her legs beneath her, pressed her lips shut. “Just… run away with you?”

“Unless you have plans,” Lilith said as she inched around the tree.

“We both have plans.” Another sip of eggnog, down easy, and Zelda brushed her hair back. “And family. You know that.”

“Meyer- _minor_ details,” she slurred a bit, and huffed a laugh at herself — sent raised eyebrows over branches and put a smile on Zelda’s face. “Reasons to come back. I’ll… put you down for maybe.”

Zelda hummed her response… then looked up.

“Nowhere in there did I say ‘maybe,’” Zelda clarified. She craned her neck to watch as Lilith worked at the tree, expression easy and warm and a little sleepy, squinting against the glow of a hundred tiny lightbulbs.

“You didn’t say ‘no’, either.”

Lilith did catch her, then, in her staring — and Zelda might have blushed if Lilith hadn’t poked her own nose on a fir branch, flinching away in surprise at her own assault. Zelda chuckled into her mug.

“You’re ridiculous,” Zelda muttered, echoing back at her. “And a hopeless romantic… ‘Run away with me.’ Honestly.”

Winding back around the tree, Lilith bent down to reach a low branch. Zelda bit the rim of her mug, brow peaking as she watched Lilith’s legs inch more and more into perfect view, slender lines drawn from slender hips, a fucking ballerina. Perhaps it was the alcohol that allowed her to stare so brazenly, to tilt her head and follow their lines up…

“Is that what hopeless romantics do?” Lilith stared at her work unthreading an ornament, expression bright despite the nosedive of her tone. “Get drunk and run away — my perfected image.”

Zelda observed, silent and still, as Lilith shook her sleeves back down her wrists, blew the hair out of her face — and she seemed a bit more serious, a bit diminished by Zelda’s response and drunk enough to take everything to heart. Zelda frowned.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” she said, because it was true.

“I’m the appropriate level of hard,” Lilith said behind a smile, a sneaky look with a measure of dishonesty in it — as though she knew she didn’t deserve to be destroyed at her own hand, yet she cowered to it anyway — to the monsters who jeered in the corners of her mind — handing them the reins, feeding them for tomorrow.

Lilith’s back was to her now, her expression impossible to read from this position; but Zelda was afforded a different kind of opportunity, so she set her mug down and started upward.

Approaching Lilith from behind, she was careful to make her steps heavy so as not to startle her — and Lilith slowed her hands in preparation, though she didn’t turn. Zelda planted her feet on either side of Lilith and sneaked her arms around Lilith’s waist, and Lilith sank back against her with all the weight of three mugs and a shot beforehand…

Zelda let her chin rest on Lilith’s shoulder, inhaling against her hair. Lilith hummed her comfort, and Zelda loved that sound more than anything.

“Romantics… call each other silly names,” Zelda explained to Lilith, who had likely never been one before. A kiss to her neck, blurry and slow and deep, like sinking into sand, and Lilith arched into her touch. “And write poetry, and… shout from rooftops…”

Lilith, a clear proponent of the idea, chuckled. “How abhorrent.”

“Truly.”

A soft sway started up between the two of them, easy and slow, like rocking a boat or dancing with death. Lilith’s hands reached back for the silk of Zelda’s pajamas, for something to grab and hold close — and she seemed dissatisfied with her grasp, though she was patient for now and settled to sway, following Zelda’s rhythm…

She spun around without warning and tossed Zelda off her balance for a moment — until Lilith’s arms were around her neck, reeling her back to her feet and rocking them over, left to right and back again, music in silence. Lilith looked up at her cleverly, as though she’d planned the whole maneuver.

“Ridiculous,” Zelda repeated, resting her forehead against Lilith’s.

As if to prove the point, then, Lilith stretched up on her toes and — in some sort of last-ditch effort, it seemed — stepped up onto Zelda’s feet to find herself taller. She comfortably looked an inch down into Zelda’s eyes, grinning with pride.

“ _Ha_ ,” she whispered, so silently it could have been mouthed, so barely it could have been all in Zelda’s head, the whole of this evening. This moment, the pure silence whispering at their ears, the fairy lights blurring in their periphery, the ornaments tinkling where their legs brushed against the tree, could have been invented, it was so… still.

“Is this something romantics do?” Lilith asked, breath warm on Zelda’s lips where she _just_ didn’t kiss her. “Dancing in the dark with no music?”

For a demon of little or no romantic experience, she was a fast learner.

And her reward, her gold star, was a kiss — longer than it had been planned, warmth and eggnog and flashes of alcohol and deep-dreamy, like falling asleep standing. Flushed cheeks brushed together and Zelda’s silk tickled at Lilith’s bare legs, slunk along with each slow step together…

They parted, and Lilith sighed over her. Zelda basked in that warmth.

“Feeling absolutely gutted when a kiss ends?” Lilith asked, added to her imaginary list. Zelda couldn’t help her smile, and kissed her again — and again, until she could feel the shallow breaths in Lilith’s throat, drawing them out like blood through a needle…

Stretching up on her toes, Lilith pushed down into the kiss, groaned with no fear for who would hear them, out in the den as night pushed into midnight. “Better,” she whispered between kisses, within kisses. “Keep at it; I can take it.”

Zelda grinned at her play, at her lovely mood, and kissed her better, and deeper. Lilith’s weight on her feet grounded her, her arms buried around Zelda, mouth pressing down from the heavens and edging her toward the prickles of fir branches. Lilith leaned into her, pushed her back a step — and Zelda’s hands caught at her back to hold her up as they stumbled back.

“L-”

They fell backward until they found the couch, fortunate as they were, and Zelda tumbled down with Lilith shortly after. Zelda bounced on the couch, with Lilith’s bare knees straddling her lap, opening up for her — her long sleeves practically knotted around Zelda’s neck, a tight embrace, Lilith’s hair draping around them and blocking out what little light remained…

Lilith split into giggles as she pecked at Zelda again, pointed and appreciative, little staccato kisses on her lips. She seemed to pry herself away just to look back at her, through lowered lashes, and bite her lip. “Was that romantic?”

“Clumsy, mostly,” Zelda mumbled through a smile, diving in for another kiss — but Lilith surprised her with a kiss to the nose, hardly a touch at all and yet so tender. Zelda nearly went cross-eyed from watching her, until her eyes closed to appreciate the affection as it moved up to her forehead.

Zelda relaxed back into the couch cushions, sighing against the ministrations. Lilith moved so softly on her, always, like rain pattering on a window — never too hard, never too loud, barely there but enough to give that cozy feeling. She marked her way down Zelda’s hairline and Zelda tilted her head for better access; Lilith’s hands cradled her head, stroking soft lines as she went, and Zelda eased under her gravity…

Then, in her ear, a breathy whisper: _“Run away with me.”_

The request was too intimate, too beautiful to deny straight away — even though, by all accounts, the idea was preposterous. But the way Lilith asked had Zelda groaning, fighting her own urge to give in as she fumbled for excuses. “Lilith, you’re drunk.”

“You’re drunk, too.”

“Not as drunk.”

“You taste it,” Lilith argued, suddenly back at her mouth and so disarming with those blue-blue eyes and shiny scarlet lips. She laid another kiss on her lips, and Zelda whined at either the beginning or the end of the thing…

Intent on an answer, Lilith slipped away, sliding onto the couch next to her. Zelda pulled at her hand, tugging her back toward her lap-

“Come on,” Lilith crooned, drunk off her ass and entirely too charming. “I’d make you happy.”

“Lilith, we don’t have anywhere to go.”

“I’d love you forever,” she teased, playing with Zelda’s hair. Zelda made a pout at that, raised an eyebrow.

“I’d have hoped you already would.”

Lilith scrunched her nose. “Yes, but that’s beside the point…”

A big yawn overtook Lilith then, and she stretched against it. Zelda played at the hem of her sweater, where it met bare skin, tried not to let her lust shine through her eyes as she watched Lilith grow sleepy. Inside of a minute and she was slumping down over Zelda’s lap, peering up at her through lazy lashes.

“Just…” Another yawn, and she curled her legs up beside Zelda. “Say yes. Say you love me, and yes.”

And Lilith rested heavy on Zelda’s lap, blinking those eyes at her expectantly, body bickering with the alcohol-induced coma on the rise. Her eyes drifted shut for only seconds at a time before she was forcing them open; and Zelda chuckled at the sight, tangled a hand in Lilith’s hair and decidedly couldn’t deny her even this.

“I love you,” Zelda said, blinking along her lines — tugging Lilith’s hair loose from beneath her head. “And… maybe, one day.”

A sleepy hum rumbled against her abdomen; Lilith buried her nose there and asked through a muffle, “Tomorrow?”

Zelda yawned, shook her head. “No, not tomorrow.”

Fisting her hands in Zelda’s pajamas, Lilith nuzzled herself further away. “I’ve got,” she mumbled, with a sniffle, “no plans Tuesday.”

And that in particular — Lilith drifting to sleep in her lap, drunkenly scheduling their great escape to gods-knew-where — was irresistible to Zelda.

So, smiling, Zelda rested her head to the side and let her gaze drift near-shut, down over Lilith as she stroked through her hair. She was such a small thing, all Zelda’s to love, all Zelda’s to know. She sighed.

“All right, darling,” Zelda decided, and brought a lock of Lilith’s hair up to kiss. “We’ll run away on a Tuesday.”

It wouldn’t be this Tuesday, of course; that wasn’t practical. But a Tuesday, someday.

**Author's Note:**

> This is barely edited and mainly fluff, but I had so much fun writing it that I just had to post it. Don't ask why it's set at winter solstice -- I was in a Christmas in July kinda mood, I guess.
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed :) Leave a review if you've got the time?


End file.
